we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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