**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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