remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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