the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
