why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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