I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize