Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
