return my video game
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize