is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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