I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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