does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize