i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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