he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize