the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
