Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
