How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
