I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
