You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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