i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
