just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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