Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize