You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
