I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize