then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I have fence marks all over my body
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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