Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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