the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
