Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
