Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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