So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
