I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
