Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
