How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
