you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
