A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
