So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
