that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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