Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize