worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
can u get pink eye on your cock?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
