I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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