Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
