xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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