At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
