i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
40s are totally the cure
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
