No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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