I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize