Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
