What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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