hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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