Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
