does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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