I hate your face
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
