Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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