i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
