i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
