you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
