If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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