The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
