why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am naked and annoyed.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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