we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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