I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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