Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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