But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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