This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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