She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
