I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
