Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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