you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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