This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
