no, he came in my armpit
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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