i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
