i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize