I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
