Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I wish my penis had an off switch
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
