dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
