I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm like, not good at living.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
