i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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