I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
pop tarts are not kleenex
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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